For most people, “Put your money where your mouth is” is just an old saying. But not for Sandra Milena Almeida.
Almeida, a resident of Columbia, swallowed $7,000 in an effort to hide the cash from her husband, reports the Daily Mail.
According to the surgeons who removed the money from Almeida’s gut after she turned up at the hospital complaining of abdominal pains, she ate the money in a “fit or rage” over her husband’s infidelity.
After discovering that he was cheating on her, she reportedly decided to leave him, and apparently thought consuming a large number of rolled-up 100 dollar bills was a necessary step towards that goal.
When x-rays revealed dozens of 3cm-long objects in her stomach and intestines, hospital staff assumed she was a drug mule, considering that swallowing bags of drugs is a common technique among smugglers.
Juan Pablo Serrano, chief surgeon at the hospital, told Colombia’s Radio Caracol: “We took the patient into surgery for two procedures to clear the blockage, on her stomach and intestine.”
The surgeons who performed the operation managed to salvage $5,700 from Almeida’s body, using the operating room to clean and dry the money. However, the remaining $1,300 was ruined. “The dollar notes were washed and are in good condition, but the rest of the money was lost because of the gastric fluids,” Serrano explained. Whether or not the money was returned to the patient was not revealed.
The Simple Dollar website suggests 20 alternative places to hide money other than inside the body:
1. In an envelope taped to the bottom of a kitchen shelf
2. In a watertight plastic bottle or jar in the tank on the back of your toilet
3. In an envelope at the bottom of your child’s toybox
4. In a plastic baggie in the freezer
5. Inside of an old sock in the bottom of your sock drawer
6. In an empty aspirin bottle in the bathroom (bundled up with a rubber band around it)
7. In the pocket of a particular shirt in your closet
8. In a “random” folder in your filing cabinet
9. In an envelope taped to the bottom of your cat’s litter box
10. In an envelope taped to the back of a wall decoration
11. In between several pages in a random book or two on your bookshelf
12. Buried in a jar in the back yard
13. In an envelope in the glove compartment of your car
14. Underneath a potted plant (or even buried in a small jar in the soil)
15. In an envelope taped to the bottom of a dresser drawer (so you can reach it from the inside of the dresser below it)
16. Inside of a big coffee cup in the back of a cupboard
17. Inside your Christmas decoration box
18. Inside of an empty bottle of Guinness in the back of the fridge with the cap seemingly in place (smash it to get the cash)
19. In a plastic baggie inside of a flour or coffee container
20. In an envelope inside of a DVD case