Michelle Insists She’s A ‘Sex Symbol’ And Tries To Convince Crowd Of It – Goes Down In Flames Instead

Loading...

Standing alone at center stage within the ritzy bowels of the Bizarro Repertory Theatre, former First Lady Michelle Obama fashions herself the spitting image of Marilyn Monroe, ruby-red lips glistening wet and perky, posing windy upskirt in the most provocative way she can manage.

Which is next to impossible with a head that size.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Praaaysident,” Michelle O’Baby, going by her stage name, sings seductively into the microphone.

Loading...

Her target audience member is former President Barack Obama, seated in a pink satin suit way, way off in the crowded neither section of the theater packed with screaming fans, most of whom are recently neutered transsexuals.

You wake up in a bitter cold sweat, slap your hands against your cheeks, and shout, “What a nightmare I just had!”

Oh, but the nightmare is real. Michelle Obama really does think of herself as a kind of mature “sex symbol.”

As she recently revealed during an interview on ESPN:

“As I got older, I found that men would whistle at me or make comments about how I looked as I walked down the street,” Obama said, adding that men would routinely cat call as she walked by, “As if my body were their property. As if I were an object to be commented on instead of a full human being with thoughts and feelings of my own.”

Right. Brains, beauty, and brawn.

Breitbart reported that the “sex symbol” was responsible for countless viewers tuning out of the new politically corrected ESPN.

But the brutal responses from the people who heard Michelle Obama’s narcissistic preening were enough to take your breath away, what with all the dry heaving going on.

“There is not enough alcohol or drugs available that could ever make Manchelle Obama a sex symbol. That would be like dragging your balls across 5 miles of broken glass just to hear Michael Moore fart in a payphone,” one thoroughly not titillated person posted.

Loading...

Ouch.

Michelle Obama, you need a reality check, girl. Learn to bow out of the limelight gracefully. Go softly into that bright light where all the other former first ladies will be there waiting for you and ready to say, “Marilyn Monroe? In our worst nightmares.”

Do you think former First Lady Michelle Obama meets the standard of “sex symbol?” Do tell in the comment section below. If you liked this story, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

h/t: Freedom Daily

Loading...

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *